Whoops, we hooked up again.
And she's dating D. Well, not dating him, she called it a trial run. And then she broke down crying saying I wasn't supposed to know about it until I left for UMD, because she was afraid she would lose me.
I suppose I should go back and start at the beginning.
On Thursday, I noticed that her and D had both removed being single from their profiles within minutes of each other. Friday night, we headed over to B's house to drink a little and just hang out, most of my friends were at Butler visiting S. B was all over her and she was pretty cuddly, but that was it. AS got really drunk and ended up having a complete meltdown in the car on the drive home, screaming about how she hated her life, her family thought she was a failure, her uncle died on Wednesday and she wasn't going to be able to go to his funeral to say goodbye, her sister treated her like crap and talked about her behind her back...and how she missed TB.
She was also mad because I called her out on cuddling with B when she's told me more than once that she likes D. It turned into a huge fight, mostly because she was drunk out of her mind at that point and got really defensive. We got back to her house and she was just sobbing in the driveway, it was probably the worst I've seen her since last summer...it was actually really scary. Eventually I got out of the car and just went over to the passenger side and held her as hard as I could. She finally calmed down and we both went inside, I told her I'd keep her company as long as she needed me too...one thing lead to another.
We were talking after and throughout the night she had been getting texts from D. I called her on that too and she finally admitted that they were dating "on a trial run." She told him she was still so in love with TB, and she never wanted to hurt me. That made me more angry than anything, I think, that she would put off a good thing with D...for what, exactly? So she could keep not dating me? I don't even think I'd want to date her anymore, so it would be better if she was dating someone else anyways.
She kept saying that she would lose me, that she doesn't want to hurt me, and that she wishes more than anything that we were dating. She was sobbing again by this point, and I don't even know why. It doesn't really make sense, it's nice to know that she cares but if the right girl comes along for me I'm not going to blow her off so I can keep waiting for AS...
I swear, God is probably the only one in the whole flippin' universe who knows how this will end.
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