School started this week and I'm already thoroughly sick of it. That's nothing new I guess, but still...I was hoping this year might be different. My classes aren't too bad, Logic might be the lone toughie. I am so ready to get out here and get to UMD already. Living at home wasn't so bad for a semester, but it's really starting to grate on me. I just feel so left out from the whole college experience, which is really just a lot of huge keggers, so maybe staying home is a good thing. I don't have to deal with that temptation while I'm here.
Gah...what to do about L...a week ago I was party hopping with a friend, I was DD. So we get to the first house, and he gets pretty trashed. As we are walking to my car, two cops pull in, one with lights blazing. Possibly the best timing ever on my part. We head over to L's neighbor's house, and we hang out there for awhile watching The Office (which I miss terribly), and my buddy is all over L's friend. Eventually we turn out the lights and L and I wind up spooning on the ground. We start to hear sex noises and eventually L gets up because she feels sick.
While she was outside she told her friend that "I should just start dating Will, I really should"
It's getting old, this happened a month ago at a different party too...I mean is she just drunk or what?
I hate girls.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Letters to the President
Rick Sanchez and Kiran Chetry appear not to expect the answer they got from a Republican college student on a special "College Week" edition of CNN's American Morning. On being asked who she thinks the GOP candidate will be for the 2008 Presidential election, Laura Elizabeth Morales puts her support behind Ron Paul.
read more | digg story
read more | digg story
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Burn This City
Go see The Bourne Ultimatum.
Also, check this out. It's a pretty amazing in depth analysis of why the Bourne trilogy is the best American film trilogy ever made.
Why the Bourne Trilogy is the Best American Film Trilogy Ever.
Also, check this out. It's a pretty amazing in depth analysis of why the Bourne trilogy is the best American film trilogy ever made.
Why the Bourne Trilogy is the Best American Film Trilogy Ever.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Declarations of Faith
I've been feeling God leading me to speak at my church for a long time now, and I think I've been putting off starting work on it for too long now.
I would normally say that it was my idea, something that would be cool to say I've done ("Oh yeah, I preached a sermon at church.") but the idea comes and goes as it will...and it's always strong and completely out of the blue when it hits.
So I thought I might start throwing around ideas online...starting with my testimony.
I was raised in a Christian home. I attended private school starting in first grade. I became a Christian when I was four...I don't think I really knew what it meant at the time, but I knew my parents believed it and that was enough for me, I guess. Bible class and chapel, along with verse memorization and Bible camps in the summer. So it's safe to say I knew the Bible, as well as the basic tenets of the Christian faith, fairly well. When I met my best friend RL in the 3rd grade, it came as somewhat of a shock that he was not a Christian. I don't think the idea of having a belief system other than mine had occurred to me until that moment.
That was probably the start of my initial loss of faith.
I started listening to secular music, and most of what he listened to was not the tamer, more uplifting stuff like The Fray or Anberlin. I didn't too heavily into the hard rock scene, but I did listen to a lot of Limp Bizkit (famous for dropping 142 f-bombs in one song) and Linkin Park, as well as Blink182, who had some of the dirtiest minds in music as revealed on their live album. At the time I didn't even notice my downward spiral because I don't think I had ever had a real connection with God. Sure, I'd come back from camp spiritually energized and ready to take on the world...but once I was actually in the world, even at a sheltered private school, things just got that much harder.
So I went on with my life, and I started to hate going to church, and eventually I started to hate God. I mean, he didn't want me having any fun anyways, right? I was growing up and I wanted to experience life, my own way, and no one was going to tell me otherwise. My parents tried to keep me active at church and youth group, but eventually I think they gave up trying (they never did stop praying for me though) and just let me do my own thing in hopes that God would get through to me.
I was never a really bad kid. I liked to stay out late, I drank occasionally in the later years of high school, and I did some other things I'm not proud of because I was angry that my life wasn't going the way I wanted it to. I never had the best grades, the most friends, much money, or anything like that. I was always just sort of average in every respect. I never skipped school though, and I never stole or got sent to juvy or anything like that but I still wasn't living the way God would want me to.
The summer after I graduated was when things really came to a head. I was going off to college. I had been thinking more about Christianity that summer, and my boss had given me a book called Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith, an excellent book by Rob Bell that I highly recommend. It put a new spin on Christianity, as a faith that isn't just a bunch of rules set down by some old dead guys, it is a way of life, the best way of life, and something that can literally change the world when enough people band together in His name. That was something I felt like I wanted to be a part of, but I wasn't ready yet.
College did not go as planned. I devoted 99% of my time to AS after her breakup, and I ended up failing all my classes first semester. But one important thing did happen: I redevoted my life to following Jesus Christ. She was instrumental in that, more than she knows I think. I had never met someone who was so calmly sure about their faith, while also being entirely rational and open to discussion and criticism about it. Whatever else I think about her, I have the highest regard for her in that aspect. We had talked about it a few times over the summer, and it would come up every few weeks in our phone conversations. She never pushed me, only asked where I stood. I think she understood the idea of faith being a beginning, not an end, better than almost anyone I knew.
Christianity isn't something that happens and then is over and done with, a way to get into Heaven and nothing more. It's a living breathing organism. The Church isn't a building, it's people. We are constantly showing people who Jesus is. That is my goal as a Christian, not to convert tons of people, give 10% to the church, or give all my time and energy to mission work.
My goal as a Christian is to be Jesus, to as many people and as often as I can. Whether that's listening to someone discuss their problems on the phone, or covering a shift at work without complaint, or watching a neighbor's kids for free, or tutoring someone at school, it doesn't really matter what it is, as long as you do it like Jesus would do it.
And that's where I stand now. I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm ready and willing to learn and I'm excited for the journey I'm just beginning.
I would normally say that it was my idea, something that would be cool to say I've done ("Oh yeah, I preached a sermon at church.") but the idea comes and goes as it will...and it's always strong and completely out of the blue when it hits.
So I thought I might start throwing around ideas online...starting with my testimony.
I was raised in a Christian home. I attended private school starting in first grade. I became a Christian when I was four...I don't think I really knew what it meant at the time, but I knew my parents believed it and that was enough for me, I guess. Bible class and chapel, along with verse memorization and Bible camps in the summer. So it's safe to say I knew the Bible, as well as the basic tenets of the Christian faith, fairly well. When I met my best friend RL in the 3rd grade, it came as somewhat of a shock that he was not a Christian. I don't think the idea of having a belief system other than mine had occurred to me until that moment.
That was probably the start of my initial loss of faith.
I started listening to secular music, and most of what he listened to was not the tamer, more uplifting stuff like The Fray or Anberlin. I didn't too heavily into the hard rock scene, but I did listen to a lot of Limp Bizkit (famous for dropping 142 f-bombs in one song) and Linkin Park, as well as Blink182, who had some of the dirtiest minds in music as revealed on their live album. At the time I didn't even notice my downward spiral because I don't think I had ever had a real connection with God. Sure, I'd come back from camp spiritually energized and ready to take on the world...but once I was actually in the world, even at a sheltered private school, things just got that much harder.
So I went on with my life, and I started to hate going to church, and eventually I started to hate God. I mean, he didn't want me having any fun anyways, right? I was growing up and I wanted to experience life, my own way, and no one was going to tell me otherwise. My parents tried to keep me active at church and youth group, but eventually I think they gave up trying (they never did stop praying for me though) and just let me do my own thing in hopes that God would get through to me.
I was never a really bad kid. I liked to stay out late, I drank occasionally in the later years of high school, and I did some other things I'm not proud of because I was angry that my life wasn't going the way I wanted it to. I never had the best grades, the most friends, much money, or anything like that. I was always just sort of average in every respect. I never skipped school though, and I never stole or got sent to juvy or anything like that but I still wasn't living the way God would want me to.
The summer after I graduated was when things really came to a head. I was going off to college. I had been thinking more about Christianity that summer, and my boss had given me a book called Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith, an excellent book by Rob Bell that I highly recommend. It put a new spin on Christianity, as a faith that isn't just a bunch of rules set down by some old dead guys, it is a way of life, the best way of life, and something that can literally change the world when enough people band together in His name. That was something I felt like I wanted to be a part of, but I wasn't ready yet.
College did not go as planned. I devoted 99% of my time to AS after her breakup, and I ended up failing all my classes first semester. But one important thing did happen: I redevoted my life to following Jesus Christ. She was instrumental in that, more than she knows I think. I had never met someone who was so calmly sure about their faith, while also being entirely rational and open to discussion and criticism about it. Whatever else I think about her, I have the highest regard for her in that aspect. We had talked about it a few times over the summer, and it would come up every few weeks in our phone conversations. She never pushed me, only asked where I stood. I think she understood the idea of faith being a beginning, not an end, better than almost anyone I knew.
Christianity isn't something that happens and then is over and done with, a way to get into Heaven and nothing more. It's a living breathing organism. The Church isn't a building, it's people. We are constantly showing people who Jesus is. That is my goal as a Christian, not to convert tons of people, give 10% to the church, or give all my time and energy to mission work.
My goal as a Christian is to be Jesus, to as many people and as often as I can. Whether that's listening to someone discuss their problems on the phone, or covering a shift at work without complaint, or watching a neighbor's kids for free, or tutoring someone at school, it doesn't really matter what it is, as long as you do it like Jesus would do it.
And that's where I stand now. I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm ready and willing to learn and I'm excited for the journey I'm just beginning.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Feeling Good
I'm working on writing up my testimony, it's going to be a small part of something bigger that I have planned. We'll see how it all turns out.
So I went to this birthday party for an old friend of mine this past Saturday. I'm trying to quit drinking but as soon as it was offered I just couldn't say no. How often do you get trashed for free, right? So my new goal now is one year sober. I'll be in 21 in about a year and a half, but I think if I can make one year then I deserve a drink or two, right?
Right?
Wrong, I suppose. The Bible clearly states that one must obey those in authority over you (i.e. the government) so it's 21 or bust!
So I went to this birthday party for an old friend of mine this past Saturday. I'm trying to quit drinking but as soon as it was offered I just couldn't say no. How often do you get trashed for free, right? So my new goal now is one year sober. I'll be in 21 in about a year and a half, but I think if I can make one year then I deserve a drink or two, right?
Right?
Wrong, I suppose. The Bible clearly states that one must obey those in authority over you (i.e. the government) so it's 21 or bust!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Underclass Hero
AS is gone again in CA, for another three weeks. By the time she gets back I'll have started school, and the world will have moved on. I've been thinking a lot about her and I already miss her. We fooled around a few times this past week, and for once I think we both enjoyed it without any regrets. We had a couple really fun nights hanging out and watching movies, as well as climbing the local middle school with some friends. I still hate being treated like a boyfriend when I'm not, I tend to get defensive when she acts too girlfriend-ish. Example: on Thursday night, I made plans to hang out with LW and AS flipped out and went into her whole "you don't wanna hang out with me, wah wah wah" speech. It's just annoying because we didn't even have plans.
I was talking to a friend of mine and he said that he is his gf's only friend right now.
That's how I feel.
I failed miserably on my promise to quit drinking, but I'm trying hard not to do it as much as last summer and in that I think I succeeded at least. Deleted all my porn today too...it's really a lot harder than I thought it would be. I've been looking at that stuff since...6th grade? Now to just get rid of it seems weird. It's hard to change who you are, even if you really believe in what you're doing.
I was talking to a friend of mine and he said that he is his gf's only friend right now.
That's how I feel.
I failed miserably on my promise to quit drinking, but I'm trying hard not to do it as much as last summer and in that I think I succeeded at least. Deleted all my porn today too...it's really a lot harder than I thought it would be. I've been looking at that stuff since...6th grade? Now to just get rid of it seems weird. It's hard to change who you are, even if you really believe in what you're doing.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Hey, Don't Stop
ER had her Hawaiian party last week, the day after I got back from Boston. The night I got back I spent some time with AS, and found myself more frustrated than ever by her childishness (is that a word? See the previous post for more on that night) So ER has her party, AS shows up and I'm already totally trashed. I had talked to her and said that I was going to try and stop drinking after Boston, but things changed when we got in a huge fight after we saw each other. Obviously we hooked up that night, and we were talking about why I was so angry with her. She dropped a huge bomb when she said that she got a job this fall. It's not much, but it is something. That was one of my hugest problems with her, and now that it's solved I don't really know what to do anymore...I mean there's not much holding me back from wanting her anymore.
Oh and she finally gave me head. Man that was awesome, and about flippin time too.
Oh and she finally gave me head. Man that was awesome, and about flippin time too.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Last Chance to Lose Your Keys
I am so sick and tired of women. Why do they all have to be such stupid whores? I went to one of AS's friend's tonight, and basically listened to three girls talk about men for 2 hours. AS must've hooked up with some guy in CA, because her friend made some awkward comment about it. I guess I was hoping for better, but oh well, I'll need to lower my expectations even more than I already have. She's still exactly the sme as she was when I left her. Boston was amazing for getting over her, but I honestly didn't realize how over her I was until tonight.
Meanwhile, her friend couldn't stop talking about how many guys she's slept with. Just name dropping all night long. The most ridiculous comment she made was when she claimed she'd been with two brothers who both broke Magnum condoms. Biggest load of crap I'd ever heard. I don't think I've ever heard a girl brag about not being a virgin before...
It's girls like you that make me think I'm better off home on a Saturday night.
Meanwhile, her friend couldn't stop talking about how many guys she's slept with. Just name dropping all night long. The most ridiculous comment she made was when she claimed she'd been with two brothers who both broke Magnum condoms. Biggest load of crap I'd ever heard. I don't think I've ever heard a girl brag about not being a virgin before...
It's girls like you that make me think I'm better off home on a Saturday night.
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