Big Girls Don't Cry

Had a long talk with AS last night, about R, and about us. The conversation went something like this:

AS: I know you don't like it when I talk about him. Are you jealous?

Boy: Not really...I'm just saying, be careful.

AS: Ok, ok. You know you're my best friend and I love you more than anything right?

Boy: (uninterested) Mmhmm.

AS: You're mad at me! ...Have these last three weeks been as good as you thought they were? It seems like you've been going out with a lot of your other friends.

Boy: Yeah, it's been nice. I mean I've missed you and all, but it's been great reconnecting with people. I feel like I've really gotten my life in order. And I just...I can't be on call for you, any more. I mean I'm still here, and everything, but I really gave up everything first semester for you. I failed all my classes and didn't really make any friends...so yeah, I just need to focus on getting through school.

AS: (voice breaking) I knew this would happen, you'd leave me.

Boy: Oh come on, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just saying, if you notice a difference, I've just gotten my priorities straight is all.

AS: (Sniffling) Ok...so you still love me? And we can still be close?

Boy: Of course I do. And of course we can.

AS: And you won't forget about me?

Boy: How could I forget about you....you're the first girl I've ever been in love with.

And that was that. I feel so good about my life right now, like things are really on track for me. I really do have my priorities straight. I finally feel like I'm in control of things between AS and I. I'm right with God, I think, after like 5 years. Took forever for Him to get my attention but I finally listened. I stopped buying things so compulsively, and overeating, and I'm starting to lift again and I've been running. Class is going much better so far. I've reconnected with a lot of my old friends like I said. And now I'm just waiting for summer to start, so the adventure can really begin.